ok so today in my "blog", im going to post a little about myself, the vacation i leave for Monday, and Funny Shit On Youtube!

Pt.1, a little about myself

i found this survey online and thought i'd fill it out so some of u could know a little bit about me

Name:
JKMonkey
Birthday:
4/30/87
Birthplace:
Yonkers, NY
Current Location:
Boston, Massachusettes
Eye Color:
Brown
Hair Color:
Brown
Height:
6'1''
Right Handed or Left Handed:
Right handed
Your Heritage:
Finnish
The Shoes You Wore Today:
Converse
Your Weakness:
umm pizza, i love pizza
Your Fears:
bugs
Your Perfect Pizza:
extra cheese (yum)
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
get a promotion at my job
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
lmfao
Thoughts First Waking Up:
"Damn I'm tired"
Your Best Physical Feature:
fast legs
Your Bedtime:
11:30 pm on work days, ??? on nonwork days
Your Most Missed Memory:
ummm idk
Pepsi or Coke:
Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:
MacDonalds
Single or Group Dates:
Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:
Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:
Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:
yea
Do you Swear:
fuck yea
Do you Sing:
nope
Do you Shower Daily:
yeah
Have you Been in Love:
yes
Do you want to go to College:
in im college
Do you want to get Married:
i guess
Do you belive in yourself:
usually
Do you get Motion Sickness:
no
Do you think you are Attractive:
sometimes
Are you a Health Freak:
no
Do you get along with your Parents:
sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:
why would i?
Do you play an Instrument:
yea
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
hell yeah
In the past month have you Smoked:
hell yeah
In the past month have you been on Drugs:
no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:
i took my gf out to dinner and to see batman
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
yeah
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
no, half a box
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
yuck no, fish makes me sick
In the past month have you been on Stage:
no
In the past month have you been Dumped:
nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
this month.....no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
this month.....no
Ever been Drunk:
yup
Ever been called a Tease:
no
Ever been Beaten up:
oh yeah
Ever Shoplifted:
yeah
How do you want to Die:
dont care
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
computer programmer
What country would you most like to Visit:
Italy
Number of Drugs I have taken:
im on ambian for insomnia right now, does that count?
Number of CDs I own:
not many
Number of Piercings:
zero
Number of Tattoos:
one
Number of things in my Past I Regret:
only one, not spendong more time with my sister who died

pt.2 my vacation

So Friday when I got home (around noon cause on Fridays we get to leave early) my gf gave me two tickets to Las Vegas, Nevada. Were going casino hopping for the whole 4 days. Our flight leaves Friday night and were staying until Thursday the 14th. Im bringing my laptop with me so I can update my profile while im gone. Dont expect a lot of forum posts while im gone though.

pt.3 FUNNY SHIT ON YOUTUBE!!!

Today on FUNNY SHIT ON YOUTUBE we have one of the worst arm snap videos i could find on youtube in good quality (im sure theres better ones but this is the best one ive seen

Ok, this weekend was a bitch. (Im adding on to my "I Hate Wal Mart!" post)

Friday-Im in Vermont with my gf so she can see her folks for the weekend. I woke up at five in the morning and was on the road by six. So I could get there by breakfast. We get there by eight and her mom makes all of us a short stack of pancakes (which were delicious btw.) Anyway around noon, her mom comes up to me and asks if i can go to wal mart with my gf. I say ok, ive never been in a wal mart, ive always lived in a city where i could go to a deli or a grocery store for food. Ive heard of wal mart, but never been in one basically. So I say ok and drive down the street to the local wal mart (which was the supercenter.) Anyway I pull in to the parking lot and it was PACKED. There were only maybe one or two parking spaces and one was a handicapped space, and the other one was so far away from the store I would have to rent a car to get to it. I wander around the parking lot for about fifteen minutes and my gf says to me " Why dont we go to the other one, its only about a half hour away" I say "No, were here now and I'll find a space." So I finally find a space after another five minutes of riding around. I go to pull in and what do u know, some jerk off in a black escalade speeds in front of me and pulls into the space. I was so fucking pissed, I was going to get out and wind up in a fist fight with the person in the escalade, as I open the door my gf talks me out of it. So I ride around another couple of minutes and finally find a space, I pull in and see like five other cars behind me that were going to pull in.
So I finally found a space. I get out and was amazed by how huge this place was, i thought that the place couldnt be that full, I mean it would take like a million people if more to fill a place that large. Well I was wrong, we walk in and I swear to god ive never seen so many people in one place. I couldnt hear myself think in there. So I get a shopping cart (there was only one left) and sure enough, there was something wrong with the front left wheel. It keept turning to the left and it was pretty hard to steer. So I get a shopping cart and im trying to make my way to the grocery department. My gf pulls out a list a mile long full of stuff we needed to get her parents. The first things on it were "Sliced Turkey, Ham, and Bologna." So I figure we can go to the deli to get it, so I pull the cart up to the deli and take a number "53." Just as I see it the deli woman yells "Now serving number 37." So I stand in the deli line. And one by one people walked up and ordered. My gf was talking at me about something the whole time waiting but I just nod to her. I was saying in my head over and over "Get me out of here, get me out of here, get me out of here." Cause they can air condition the place all they want, if you stick that many people in a building, its going to get hot, and I was sweating bullets. So after maybe fifteen minutes we finally get to the counter and i say " Hey can I get a pound of turkey, ham, and bologna sliced thin", the woman, who was a total cunt says "How thin do u want it?" Now since Ive never been in a wal mart before, I didnt know the scale they have, so I say "thin", she goes "1 through 10 sir." I just guessed that 1 was as thin as they sliced it so i said 1 and thank god it was as thin as they would slice it, so I wait for another five minutes and get my stuff and continued on my way.
So now I was off to asile one, which was i think the salad dressings, ketchup, mustard, relish, mayo, that crap. Im not going to list all the crap I got but as I went down the first asile I successfully hit three peoples carts and ran over my gfs toes (she was wearing flip flopps, ouch.) Then in the second asile theres a woman with six kids who were running all over the place (I almost hit two with my cart.) Anyway I get to the milk asile which was after two hours of going through the asiles finding all the groceries we need, and we had so much groceries I had to get another shopping cart, which was almost full as well. It was the last asile and by now im completely wiped out so Im rushing to get out of there. As im going through the milk asile theres a woman, with a maybe five month old baby, and it was screaming bloody murder. I swear it was the loudest fucking thing Ive ever heard and I've heard a screamer on internet pr0n at three in the morning on a school night with my speakers on full blast in the middle of dead silence. Anyway I get the milk and I have a huge migrain, and this kid was getting louder and louder, I was going to go up to the woman and go " SHUT THAT FUCKING KID UP!!!!!!!" , but I descide to not. So I rush out of that asile and then we had to swing around the home department and buy some new sheets for the guest bedroom, and I hear it. Such a spoiled kid in the toy asile cliche, he was screaming "MOM, I WANT THAT POWER RANGER!." I was trying to hold in a laugh, just because the kid was so loud and abnoxious about it. So we pass buy that asile and buy a Queen sized bed mattress. And we were done, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
So we go up to the cash register, and there were only about six registers open and at every one, there was a line of ten people. So I pull the two shopping carts into a line and wait, and wait, and wait. As I was waiting I got some energy drink and it kept me awake. While waiting some guy who looked like a stoner asked if he could cut us because he just had to buy a pack of cigarettes, I felt like saying, "No, wait in line like everyone else", but I let him cause how long could it take him to but a pack of cigarettes. After twenty minutes we reached the front of the line, I start packing the belt with the stuff and of course we had some fifty year old asian woman who was working as fast as light. So I had to pack the belt with the groceries onto the belt as fast as I can (which ironically enough was as fast as the woman.) As my gf packed the carts with the bags. Apperantly as I put the food on the belt I wasnt paying much attention because I squashed the bread with the gallon of 2% milk. Anyway the bill came out to $400, so I cover the bill and wheel the carts out of the store and loaded them onto my gfs dads pickup truck. As we pulled out of the parking lot, I said to my gf that I would never go to wal mart ever again as long as I live.
So we get back to her folks house and bring all the bags in and they put them away. As soon as they finished putting the food away, I sat with my gfs dad and talked with him as we both drank some scotch. We went out to dinner at one of those places where you cant even pronounce the names of the food. I ordered the Foie gras, which is goose liver and is only the size of two quarters next to eachother. My gfs mom gave me one of her two cuts of the New York Strip Steak she ordered. We got home at ten and sat at there ENORMOUS dining room table where her parents bitched about why we dont get married and we've been together for three years and she still has no grandchildren, ugh.
Saturday- The guest bedrooms bed was sssooo painful to sleep on, the bed was made a LLLOOONNNGGG time ago, and the springs inside were all rusted, so everytime you moved an inch, the bed made a loud, shreeking noise. I got to sleep around two and was woken up at four by my gfs dad. He said we were going fishing. I love fishing, when I was a tween me and my dad would go on fishing trips every Sunday. But then again when I would go with my dad, I would go to bed at 8 so I wasnt as tired to get up at four. Like I said I got to sleep aroung two. So he wakes me up and says "Hey lets hit the lake before the Saturday morning traffic." I've personally always liked my gfs dad and hes always liked me. So I descided to go, I figured we'll be on the lake all day in his mucho expensive boat, drink a couple of beers and then we'll go back to the house right? So we get up, I get changed into the fishing gear he gave me (I guess he had the thought in mind to go fishing before.) We got our bait and we were on the highway by five. It takes about two hours to get to this lake, which is pretty small, maybe a tenth of a mile from one side to the other. Probably nothing more than some catfish in it. He pulls up to the boat storage lot where the boat was. The boat was about a four person boat, he says "The yachts in the shop, hope you dont mind." The boat looked brand new, maybe one or two times used. Anyway were on the lake by eight , lines in the water and everything. After aboout a half an hour and nothing, so I ask, "Hey we got any brews?", he said, "No, I couldnt bring any, my livers to bad for alcohol." Ugh, nless your a kid, drunk or high, fishing sucks, cause when your a kid, everythings so cool, your so excited to probably catch a fish, when your drunk, well your drunk, and when your high, well your high, and I wasnt going to ask for a doobie. So I sit back and relax. I wind up falling asleep. Next thing I know, hes standing over me struggling to hold on to my line. I go "Did I catch something?", he says "Yeah, I dont know what it is," so I get up and help him pull the line. We pull it in, its a pretty big bass, we pull it so hard the line flies over the boat and the bass becomes unhooked. It lands about ten feet away from the boat and speedily swims away. I look over to see he caught about four catfish. "Looks like you got the dead part of the water" he says and I just say "Guess so." I look at my watch to see its already noon. We stay in the lake for about another two hours, he catches a baby bass and I catch nothing. At two in the afternoon we pack up, put the boat in storage and go back to his house. Its already four in the afternoon and we just get back to his house. He gives the fish to my gfs mom and she starts cooking it for dinner. I spend the rest of the day laying on there couch which was better than the bed we slept on. So we have dinner at seven, which was horrid because she undercooked the fish. That night I fell asleep at midnight because I was so damn tired.
Sunday- I was so happy when I woke up at like eight on Sunday morning, I couldnt wait to get back to my apartment, i mean between the shitty wal mart trip and the horrible fishing trip. I just wanted to get back. So we get up, and dressed, I have some of her moms pancakes and my gf has a bowl of oatmeal (YUCK!). And were on our way back at ten. Then of course, the car breaks down about a half hour away from my apartment (without traffic). Thank god my friend from hs Tony worked there. He looked at the car and said " You're transmission is fucked up, it should take about an hour or two to fix" I let him do what he has to do and me and my gf go have lunch at a McDonalds nearby. We finish and get back to the shop and Tony goes "Well, its fixed, that'll be about $350," I give him the money and get home at around two thirty in the afternoon. The rest of the day I go around my block getting the assorted groceries that we needed. And that was my shitty weekend.

In other news

Ok, i'll start a new thing for my blog posts, I'll post some of the funniest shit I can find on youtube. I'll call it Funny Shit On Youtube.

Today on Funny Shit On Youtube, we have a man who dinks a drink that is on fire, and it goes wrong! What a shocker.

So far this week I've had three issues with ng that r pissing me and im sure som of u members off.
Issue 1-Call me naive, but I always thought that the flash games on here were safe. But the game i played yesterday was a total reality check. Yesterday I played a game called RandoMind, DO NOT PLAY IT!!!, anyway it was still under judgement and I decided too play it and give it a fair rating. Well last night I went on ng to check out the forums and my laptop had a virus on it that screwed up the computer. I figured it was a bad e-mail or something. So this morning I shelled out $20 to get the virus removed. I went on the forums to see that I did get the virus from the game. DO NOT PLAY THE GAME!!!
Issue 2- After I got the virus removed and the system restored, I logged on to ng to see I had 32 new pms, from 32 different ng members. Each one saying and I quote "I was lurking around on the internet when I stumbled upon a game that redefines the gaming experience. That game is called 4Chan Fandango. The graphics don't beat those of professional studios, but the gameplay is where this gem really shines. Due to the loose controls, unbridled freedom, and innovative design, the game captures your attention and refuses to let it go. Personally, I've almost finished the game and I can say that I enjoyed every second that I played. Before I attempt to finish this epic game, I'm going to lock my door and hang up a sign on it that reads: "Door's closed, due to 4Chan Fandango" end quote. Now I read one of these and deleted all of them, I knew it was super spam. Anyway I go to the forum and after finding out that RandoMind gave me the virus that the 4chan Fandango game that I was super spammed about was that if u played it ur comp would have gotton the SS virus. Good thing I didnt play it otherwise that would be another $20 shelled out for the comp in two days.
Issue 3- The third issue I have with ng this week is that theres been a lot of member to member hacking going on in ng. It seems from what I've observed is that theres been a spike in e-thuging, ng member to member hacking, and online hazing ever since the redesign. I think its because of the spammers and the noob bbs posters who post shit like " facepalm" or "Epic Fail" and shit like that with absolutly no reletivity to the thread there posting in. Remember ng members hacking is a crime.
Now with the shit thats happened this week so far, I think it deserves a great big,

Since I share a laptop and a PC with my gf (shes the one who bought both the comps), I had to ask her first in order to get Firefox, I would have had it months ago, but she didn't want it. She never heard of it and didn't trust it. But last night, I sat her down and had her read the Mozilla website. After she read the website, she installed it onto the PC and I installed it onto the laptop. The PC currently has the Abstract Zune theme and the laptop has the Aero Fox theme. I think that Firefox is so awesome, I'm currently comparing Windows Internet Explorer to Mozilla Firefox and I have to say, Firefox is the best by far, I mean, you can put add ons and themes to the explorer to make it pleasing to your eye, Firefox runs much faster than Windows Internet Explorer, Firefox has built in malware, spyware, and adware protection, so I basically only need Avast Anti Virus and ZoneAlarm, which means I can uninstall all the other malicious behavior protection software I have, which makes more room on my memory. I also thought it was cool that it was only like 7.8 Mb. So after the comparison between Firefox and Windows, I think its clear that I choose Firefox.

After a week of hearing "Big Brown might just be the next triple crown winner" from my gf, my parents, my friends, the media, strangers on the bus, and getting that phrase drilled into my head, he loses. I was at Belmont, NY to see the race, and all day, my gf was nagging me to bet my rent money (roughly $1500) on big brown. I said no because even though I wanted him to win, because if he did, it would mean so much to the jockeys son, to the trainer, to the owner, to the jockey, I thought he wouldn't win because of the quarter inch cut in its hoof, not getting the steroid injection on May 15th, and a lot of other things. It was about 6:30 PM at belmont and the race started, Big Brown held back for the first quarter mile, I thought he would break at aroung the mile mark, but he DIDN'T! Rather than spank the horse with the whip, the jockey just tried to talk to it, and where did that get him?, a ninth place finish!
And all I heard from the snooty rich people around me was "It was to hot", "That cut in his hoof is what made him lose", and "I lost five thousand dollars on him!". I left as soon as the official race results were over because I can only last so long in the 95 degree weather. It pissed me off because after all this hype about how if he wins it will be the first triple crown winner since Affirmed in 1978. I mean t seemed as if both the jockey and the horse had absolutly no desire at all to win. Maybe next year there will be a triple crown winner.

Other News
~ I have held off in the making of my new flash due to some computer problems, this will hold off the due date again.
~ I will be making about 10 audio portal submissions to go along with my flash, though I will not release the audio until I get my flash in the flash portal.
~ I'm currently in the working of my new site!

Thats about it.

Throughout school, I was considered the average kid, hung out with my crew of friends who would go to the movies on fridays, discuss pr0n, etc. being average, you never really get the hottest girls in school, that being said I've had some weird girlfriends, the fallowing list is in grade order

6th Grade................ I went out with a girl who was paranoid about a lot of things, she always thought the teacher was "out to get her" when she recieved an F on a test, when she clearly failed under her own stupidity.
7th Grade................ I went out with an "depressed" chick, but she wore short skirts, spagetti straps with pink flip-flops and pink toe nail and finger nail polish, though she looked preppy, she was constantly depressed and cut herself, last I heard she was in therapy
8th Grade................ I went out with the a sporty chick, who constantly talked about field hockey, softball, and soccar. She wore her uniform to school even if she didn't have a game that day.
9th Grade................ Stayed single.
10th Grade.............. I went out with a vegetarian, who constantly bitched about how meat is genocide and glue is made from horses. Once, she made me get up at 4:30 AM to go boycott a meat factory.
11th Grade.............. I went out with a furry chick, she was obsessed with furry pr0n and was the one who turned me to my favorite game in ng, High Tail Hall 1.5, she wore a tiearra with kitty ears and would meow in my ear when she sat next to me in math class, she was the first chick I got passed kissing and holding hands with, she once blew me after a party at my friends house (no alcohol included)
12th Grade (gf #1)... In the 12th grade I had two gfs throughout the year, the first one was a punk chick, who had her hair dyed pink, Green Day and Nine Inch Nails trapper keepers, avid fan of ng, and had her room painted black, this was the first gf I got past getting blown with, we dry humped a couple of times, and I blew her a couple of times, but I had to dump her when I found out she was a lezbo.
12th Grade (gf #2)... My second gf of the 12th grade was the first "average chick " I think I've ever been with, no dyed hair, no piercings (other than ear), not depressed, not a vegetarian, not a sporty girl, not a punk girl, or furry girl, a REGULAR GIRL! she was the one I took to the senior prom and lost my virginity to (remember kids, wear a condom). Though we had to break up cuz her dad and her had to move to tokyo for bussines.
My current gf........ My current gf I've been going out with for 2 years now, shes completly normal, shes the second girlfriend that I've had sex with and is everything I want, she loves ng, shes not perfect, shes nice, everything i want!

So those are some of the crazy chicks I've been with, I swear its completly true.

Other News
~ Since I won $500 from betting on Big Brown at the Preakness, I'm buying tickets for my gf and I to go to Belmont.

heres just a rundown of things that have been going on in my life since my last post

~ I got GTA 4 for the PS3, its awesome!
~ I did the math, for me, it will take 10 years to get to levl. 60 (10 exp. per day, ovr 38,000 exp. lvl. 60 you do the math)
Thats just a few things that have been going on in my life.
Oh, also the name of my flash is Sticks Search for Hentai, its about a nineteen year old stick figure whos addicted to hentai and lives in a world where hentai has been outlawed, so he has to go aroung the world to find it. But as he looks for it, he faces cops, getting his car stolen, going to jail, breaking out of jail among other things.I'll probably seperate it into a series rather than one long flash so people on dial-up can see it wthout having to wait those long load times :)

I am currently in the making of a Flash Movie!!!! The tutorials in the Flash forum really helped. Since I am juggling between both college, relationships, family, NG, and the video, it might take a while to finish. I'll post on here when I have an estimated done date.

Today I started my newgrounds account! I've been a fan of the site for years (since 2000 I think).So today I was browsing through the Flash Portal and decided that I was sick and tired of not being able to post reviews of the posts. So I signed up. I might start trying to make flash movies soon, as soon as I can figure out how :) (my high school didn't have a computer science class.)